Give me a break, everyone knows you keep your beer in your beer hat when at the fancy-pants golf club, heathen.

one of the most trusted beer blogs currently open on your work computer.

Spider pig. spider pig. Does whatever a spider does.

A few of the 10% variety will knock you on your ass rather quickly. I submit myself from this past Saturday night as evidence.

This is great. Everyone should loathe the Jet fan. In the hierarchy of NFL fans the Jet fan sits securely at the bottom. Let me explain:

“I used to be a Jet fan but then my father got a job.”

Just further proof that if you live in Chicago and don’t watch WGN news in the morning you’re doing it wrong.

We’re fatter than Jets fans. That makes us better.

Of course the Redskins fans have trouble spelling. Even just speaking about their team it comes out slurred.

What these rankings don’t tell you is that Lions fans only use the words “send,” “water,” “food,” “police,” and “help.”

I live up the street from their brewery and can confirm that all of their beer is excellent. Their "Eugene Porter" is amazing, which is no small feat considering most porter tastes like the ashes of a cremated dog.

Addendum: Dude in the gym locker room not only played his music through his phone speakers but SANG ALONG with it. This isn't The Voice. Fuck you.

Muriel, you fucking idiot! It's two girls and one cup!

Glad to read histories like this on deadspin, keep 'em coming. Have some very minor points to add:

As a Blues fan, I'm so damn excited for Vlady. He could be the best offensive threat we've had since Hull. Him on a line with Lehtera and Schwartz is a very underrated trio that could do damage.

Fucking Hitchcock... that asshole is always trying to scare the shit out of people.

There can't be a sinlge person who thought Wacha was the right guy even *before* he shit the bed. That is the exact opposite of second-guessing hindsight.