Any chance his feet are so fucked up that he can’t play and he’s using the helmet as an excuse so he can file a grievance rather than end up on the non-football injury list?

This reply is burfict.

The Aristocrats!

“Our quarterback suffered a traumatic brain injury after hosting an awards show in New York City last winter.”

*Richie Incognito throws his father’s arms up in disgust*

I’m sure watching it on grass makes the experience even better.

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Stewart Zimmel.Since I have no way to contact you are you owe me nearly $6,000 I ask you to contact me about payment.

Knicks Front Office: “Iggy, great game, you’re playing great. Some folks in Marketing want to talk to you tomorrow about Proactiv.”

My mind started racing too, then it took a shortcut and just sorta pondered stuff. Then at very end it started racing again.

Sure, says triathlon right there!  

That was a triathlon joke

Those of us over 30 all saw Terminator 2.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

So in this case the Islanders were the Brooklyn Nyets.

An adult-diaper dandy of a tweet.

“Sir, we’re losing altitude!” “Engage bottom rotor!”

As if that weren’t bad enough, this poor lady finally made it to the hospital, only to discover that this was her attending medical team:

I thought I was dead inside, but the longer the video went, the more the tech in the helicopter tried to hook the litter with his foot, the harder I laughed. Then they tried to pay out some rope to... what? I guess they didn’t want the patient/litter to hit the skids, so they let her down, which accelerated the spin,…