Well, add a new leaf to his turnover total

“And by the end of the year, we’re all going to want to eat Bullets.”

Trust but verify.

Quick research: She does.

The chugging isn’t even that impressive - it’s obviously a ginger beer.

-L

Should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that they used to

Look, if it were any other day, he’d step up and show you how to swing.

I actually work with one guy who loves T-Mac and thinks KD is a bitch, and somebody who loves KD and always says that nobody remembers T-Mac because he wasn’t any good (They’re both trolling each other). I told them about this guy and now they both hate him. So this has been a very satisfying story for me, personally.

As long as all of the punches were thrown underhand, no rules were broken.

That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.

Back then they hadn’t even developed Pacifst, the app that periodically reminds you not to violently assault someone. What was he to do?

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

I guess I don’t really C what the B D is.

Hopefully Richie racked that dumbbell afterwards, I don’t want to think he’s an asshole or anything.

My condolences to Matthew Broderick and family.

If I travel anywhere and I see that sign, I’m going the fuck back home.

That’s like every Dunkin Donuts in New England after 10 p.m.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”