I bet Mossimo’s mom hates target

I remember commenting on last years story about how terrified I was my 1.5-year old boy would wind up with something dangerous in some orifice. I’m pleased to report that nothing of the sort happened this year, however he did get his pee pee stuck in a Lego. I can't wait to tell that story to every one of his future…

I cried last night without knowing until my son asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t believe it myself!

I’ve never had more fun watching the Cubs. It would of course be amazing to take this all the way this year, but they could have lost against the Cards and I still would have been a very, very proud fan.

I woke up one afternoon and found a treasure map I apparently did to find all of this random shit I purchased the night before, scattered around my apartment. Ended up finding ten taquitos from Quick Trip, seven beers (where were the other five? Why only seven?), a compass (probably intended to use that for my…

I finally figured it out, but not without having to be distracted from the show.

“Everything is fucking” pretty much sums up this fucking season in a fucking nutshell. Fucks are fucking, getting fucked, got fucked, going to fuck, and/or going to get fucked, can’t fuck, and/or going to fuck. Ray got fucked out of being a father fuck by fucking going on involving his poor wife being unwillingly…

Yep. Almost verbatim reaction from me, and trying to figure out who the fuck the black guy was in the tunnel.

Well said.

I’m really pissed I missed this post the day it came out. Like the others below, I’m patiently waiting for “1046” to be released.

Congrats! I gained after my first, lost it, then gained with my second, and then lost it again. My wife lost with me after the second, and we followed a pretty simple plan: cut out fried foods and soda, then find time for cardio.

I appreciate these stories because they remind me of how lame of a fan I am. When the Cubs lose, I think I'm so cool for lowering my Cubs flag half mast.

So. Freakin’. Excited!

Amazing!!!!

Add some turtles to this radness and I could die happy.

Dude, you read my mind. My dad still gives me shit for that!

Fuck you, Carl. FUCK. YOU.

Goosebumps! Its getting all nostalgic up in here!

What about alarms? I have “Four Squares” by Adam Johnson and then “Above the Clouds by Gangstarr as my 15-minute back-up. With this lineup I'm never too pissed off when woken up.

Krispy Kreme’s often volatile yet compassionate lyrics compliment his snot rockets and deafening metaphors.