To be fair, no one but Janine could have done her job as it was that well, and Bill Murray’s character was an asshole (I could stop the sentence here) for not understanding or acknowledging that.

Robert Pattinson bit the Twilight hand that fed so hard it bled, and later got case as Batman. I’m here for it.

Take your star.

Peter Jackson optioned the books for a movie but then he actually read them and let the option lapse.

Who doesn’t trust a food delivery service that doesn’t care if you accidentally ingest something that will kill you?

I’m here for the rediscovery of oral sex.

You don’t think parents have the Today Show on in the morning? For real?

Amazing. Every word you just said is wrong.

Yeah, I enjoyed it fine. We’re in end stage media consumption where if a film isn’t the most perfect example of the film genre it’s in, it must then be the worst trash. No, this is a stupid take, some movies are just fine and this is okay.

Gin + grapefruit juice sounds like a punishment, not a refreshing cocktail.

You can dismiss Recoegnitions form the panel. They are a bot.

In every poll, over 70% of the country is pro-choice. Nikki Haley’s misogyny only appeals to incels and rednecks.

The greatest irony: SNL is hoping to get “cancelled” so it doesn’t get cancelled. (For the slow readers, there is no such thing as “cancel culture,” it’s a meme the bugfuck rightwingers came up with when they got into hot water for being racist sexist homophobic transphobic xenophobic dipshits in public again.)

You can dismiss Recoegnitions from here. It’s a right wing bot.

The world would be a much better place if Christians DIDN’T fuck, but we live in the world where not only do they fuck like bunnies, every organized Christian group has been investigated for sexually abusing children.

Rest in power, sir. You will be missed.

Yeah, the one great equalizer of all people with autism I know irl is they’d have pizza every day if that was an option. Which is not to say every college student is autistic, either.

I would like to see these many examples of best friends showing emotions for each other who get turned into canon m/m couples, please and thank you!

Yeah. Cannot tell which audience this writer is trying to court. Talking about butter and cookie recipes, fine. $1500 water systems and long essays about eating out regularly at French restaurants? We make fun of Salt Bae. We do not emulate him.

Rich people are wild.