“We hit you in retaliation, dammit, fight like a real man so we can officially move on ... until you hit one of us in retaliation! Don’t upset the balance in the universe!”

There’s nothing we can do for you.

It’s disgusting that a so-called “journalist” would whore himself out for fucking Buffalo Wild Wings. What happened to integrity? What happened to craft? Have some fucking respect, stop that nonsense, and go with those delicious, juicy, perfectly cooked wings from Wing Stop instead. Stop by your local store today for…

There are a very few, peaceful mornings where I wake up not instantly feeling ashamed of my fellow white people. But I inevitably open my eyes and ears and the feeling vanishes immediately.

*three of the greatest tennis players of all time

Evidently, John Wick and the like have greatly misled me as to the skill of run-of-the-mill hitmen.

To be even more fair, who gives a fuck? It was awesome.

Don’t you put that evil on the Hawks! Or on the film-watching community at large!

Next you’ll try to convince me that Mercedes isn’t the Cadillac of cars.

I mean, that last one will probably just happen on its own.

I know if I ever get super rich, first thing I’m gonna do is get me a box man.

First they came for the whistlers, and I did not speak out, because I was not a whistler.

Fuck.  I’m not really into breakfast. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just don’t get hungry until around lunch, and I’d almost always pick lunch/dinner foods over breakfast foods. Now I know that makes me more like our thicc wet president.  Sad.

Wait, are you saying Glenn Danzig is not actually Tommy Wiseau?

*Who’se

I would totally watch Law and Order: BKU

The correct response is “Who the fuck cares, man?”

To be fair, Kaepernick DISRESPECTED the troops by kneeling, while Incognito’s racism, unchecked aggression, and bullying line right up with American military values.

Antetokounmpo, who has already succeeded in the face of infinitesimal odds

For the tiebreaker, replace the judges with an idiot who doesn’t know how to spell.  Winner is the kid who incorrectly spells the word the way the idiot thinks it is spelled.