Ain’t nobody in this country buried that deep in a fucking cave for their entire youth.

you’re basically asking for it and Eat an asshole

Having Tony Clark as their union chief and head negotiator probably didn’t help.

Writers should stop parroting the “good faith” argument as if it’s cut and dry. The merits of that argument were, somewhat poorly, written up on Fangraphs not long ago. As usual, that analysis ignored several more convincing counterarguments. Overall, “they’re operating in violation of good faith” is not a strong…

I’ve never read Ulysses, but it’s contributed to a profoundly important part of my life. So there’s that.

We look forward to his ironic presidential candidacy in 2020.

To be fair, she was a bit nervous and the words didn’t come out right. What she wanted to say was:

As a result, they seem ever more inclined to pick players who fall within a narrow personality bandwidth and project a league-approved type of seriousness.

You libs are so judgmental. You know, some people, REAL AMERICANS, read his words with pride.

Lots of the ones already mentioned, and I was especially fond of this one:

When I saw Stevens in concert, his outfit included, among other things, angels wings. Really, I’m not sure his Oscars outfit could have been anything other than a loud dragon jacket.

Things More Likely Than Trump Running In (Armed or Otherwise) To Stop A Shooting:

R.I.P. Tips on Taters. Father, husband, mediocre shitposter.

The older I get, the less I enjoy (a) massive hits in the NFL, and (b) any hockey fights. Dudes throw down immediately after the whistle, and we cheer it because that’s just hockey. So fucking dumb.  

Wishing the cops had been like:

Counterpoint: The Warriors would not be better with Lebron James than they are with Klay Thompson.

I think you’ve hit on a genius marketing slogan:

We need a nationally televised weigh in, followed by Trump taking the eighth grade Iowa Test, followed by live grading/commentary/roast.

Major League Penis

Holy fuck, how did I miss that Kendrick Lamar is performing at halftime?