IS THAT GOAL REGULATION SIZE?

Longoria: “Please trade me to a contender.”

Deals like the ones signed by Longoria helped pave the way for team-friendly extensions, as teams saw the benefits of locking up their young talent early, alleviating some of the financial unknowns players face.

The IMPORTANT issues we should be focusing on here are (1) whether either of these two hockeymen took a knee during the anthem, and (2) whether either are ... um ... urban. If (1) yes or (2) yes, I can say I am OUTRAGED! If (1) no and (2) no, then hooray hockey!

I was PROBABLY going to win the Noble prize but then they were all “you have to know how to math” and I was all “later dummies,” but really I went to cry because I don’t math good and now all the Nobles know.

I did, last night. She was very receptive to it.

Now 13 players, with Bae also taken away. With the Braves decision to go big in 2016-17, which limited the amount they could spend the next couple years, they’ve now basically forfeited 5-years of signing impact IFA, and have gotten nothing out of the approximately $20 million in bonuses paid to those players.

Yeah, there’s a trio of banana slip-and-fall cases that are often taught in first year Torts class in law school. IT WAS AN EPIDEMIC!

In a touching tribute to the year the Dome was built, that one wall went all, “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”

Something something something grass on the field play ball.

The fuck? This guy is out of the greys?

I don’t care what you think, lower left is looking at me and me alone!

You don’t practice The Stranger. That would defeat the whole purpose.

Have you seen the things that God’s own followers attribute to him? I’d say he can be wrong way more than occasionally.

Ha! Not bloody likely. The only person to whom I would give unfettered access to my home is the random underpaid babysitter assigned by the service and in whom I entrust the safety and wellbeing of my children.

Marshmallows are butt in almost every form, including melted.

I wonder if I’d get traded to a job I didn’t hate if I tweeted that.

I’m quick. Like a kitten.

If she let him hold her hand, you’d know it was not Melania, who does everything she can to avoid touching the Donald.

Concussions and long-term brain damage aren’t only caused by plays where a “player’s head brutally hit” something.