That's actually some pretty great handwriting considering the sonofabitch was looking in the mirror the entire time he penned that letter.

See, he can't even do this script right.

Montana is expected to be charged with attempted first degree murder on Friday.

ttthhheeerreee mmmmaaayyyy bbbeeee nnnaaarrccootticccs iiinnnn ttthhiiiissss vvveeeehiiiccccllee....

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, sh... hey, where'd you go!?!

Five counts of animal abuse or neglect involving the alligator.

I'm just asking ... how can a collision with a 5'10" CB take down a 6'4" receiver who was drafted explicitly to take hits like that? And, how did the first responding teammates get there so quickly, almost before the play was completed? I mean, I'm not saying I know for sure ... but, if the world demonizes the…

LUND: But what about all the field work I did?

I believe this doctor entirely and I would follow him to the edge of the earth, which is a real thing.

"Hey man, women don't like cheaters. They don't. They don't like liars and cheaters."

And if you're that Australian boot company, you're saying to Tom Brady, "Hey man, women don't like cheaters." They don't. They don't like liars and cheaters.

CODY: Hey, you guys hear about this Deflategate thing? I mean, I guess now we know how Tom Brady likes his BALLS being ROUGHED UP, am I right? Maybe his wife could DEFLATE HIS BALLS instead? Seriously folks, this -

sounds like that superintendent's statement may be half-horseshit

What? How is that "needless to say?" This is such a weird goddamn comment.

Therapist: OK. How about this one? [shows butterfly]

Max Scherzer's Agent: [tosses out somewhat misleading contract figures]

A team source backed him up

BS: Lena, before we talk about that scene where Alison Williams is getting her ass motorboated in the kitchen, do you think the Celtics got enough for Jeff Green?

San Francisco hired my wife's college boyfriend?

One of the greatest parts of my job are the days when Tommy Craggs, in a flurry of excitement, runs over to me and says something like, "Hey Cooke, can you draw Derek Jeter getting his ass eaten out?" or, "Hey Cooke, can you draw a quick dong on the new Cubs mascot?"