Where does continuing-to-dangle-your-dick-on-a-guy’s-head-while-the-ball-is-well-on-it’s-way-in-the-other-direction fall on the goon scale?

Bob Kraft: “Alright we need someone to lead the talks on Roger’s extension. Arthur, why don’t you *snort* hold forth?”

What part of “fuck ‘em” is unclear to you?

Rebuttal: This Piano Is Fine

Predictability

Doesn’t Redick have to end every interview like that? Pretty sure he signed an abortion contract.

Deliveryman 1: Watch the dip.

These Panther fans are so hot that Cam threw em out the window.

Ghost: I have not any intention of moving the god damn door. If I did, I’d tell you about it.

The DeAndre Jordan War

Colts PR #1: Did you hear about Hasselbeck after the game? He was all dewy.

dino costumes make everything funny.

BOOOOOOO

No, Ma, listen. The house always wins.

And to think people always told him he'd never be above the Menendez Line.

Ryan the Eagles Fan: Thanks for thinking of us, Coach. I always knew we could be friends. What are you going to do to *finger quotes* take care of *finger quotes* Dez Bryant in week 2?

Yeah you seem like the joke-telling type.

An Iowan would never intentionally blow a game. Probably because they're busy blowing a .341.

I'll betcha it was Stéphane Millér.

Thanasi and Stan’s girlfriend,