Alternatively, can I get a free version with Louis C.K. periodically interrupting the commentary with bigoted rants?

Nah

I hope the prize is not having to read any more gossip about Cardi B and Offset. 

But he’s old! He’s had decades’ worth of pizza to compare this to!

As a former resident of Las Vegas, I think it’d be a good thing for the city if more people there switched to marijuana from whatever psychosis-inducing substance they normally use!

I was at a Costco recently, and an old timer walking past went up to me and exclaimed “THIS IS THE BEST GOD DAMNED PIZZA IN THE UNIVERSE!” I thought, wow, I should check this out!

I’d dine out more often, but I’m tired of being stared at and accosted by food writers every time I go out!

I’ll give you my exploded YETI cooler when you pry it from my warm, defrosted hands.

I...just want a plate of pasta with some sort of sauce.

Yeah, I tend towards hedonism for sure, but I have too many older relatives who spent their final years obese, dragging around oxygen tanks, in the hospital for multiple bypass operations, unable to move around freely, feet cut off from diabetes, etc. In my fantasies I live a wildly indulgent life and then die quickly…

Speak for yourself — I plan to live forever. FOREVER!!!

Also hilarious: gout and colon cancer!

Whenever I’m making seasoned flour for a fish fry, I enjoy horrifying my wife by eating spoonfuls of the flour to taste it.

You could make it Korean style, which is basically just fried rice wrapped in a thin omelet. (I’m assuming you’re OK with the egg element.) I’ve made it meatless by just sauteeing veg (diced carrots, celery, onion, peas) in olive oil, then adding rice. This is also a great dish for fake meats like meatless hot dogs or…

And of course many Thai restaurants make pad thai with ketchup.

These YouTubers have finally gone too far!

Definitely agree that they can be lazy — especially the online ones that are just like a short string of interview responses. But I loved the ones for SNL, MTV and Star Trek, where I do feel that some care went into editing the quotes into a narrative. Unless the writer has a definite point of view on the subject…

Fake Socks™, reluctant A.V. Club commenter: I like oral histories.

I...am old.

I feel like we’re missing the real story here, which is that Prince William has turned into a deer-man.