He looks like he's been…uh…straining…

We had a small marker in my town, but the mayor had it yanked out earlier this week. I like our mayor.

You'll probably want some wet naps to wipe that down with after.

Killed 'im? It nearly rectum!

That's extra, but the van ride includes a showing of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Well for one thing James Woods is still alive.

Shit? The woods are a great place for that!

I don't think we can take anything for granite.

I could vandalize a plate of kale chips!

"Murder um killa"??? Does he mean "murder them, killer" or "murder them killers"? I can't even with this.

*Ruth Buzzi angrily tweets Li'l Bow Bow's home address*

Upvoted, but reluctantly since you go to Arby's enough to notice changes in their products.

Yeah - people who are going to stop supporting basic human rights because they got their feelings hurt are not people who are going to be out there marching in the streets. They're people who enjoy feeling righteous and virtuous online and getting lots of likes and hearts.

Well, icing her praises all the time, so it sucks when she disappoints me.

This is going to turn into a sheetshow.

This article headline should be amended to iOS 11 has new feature to disable Touch ID FOR A LEGIT REASON YOU SHOULD READ IN THE ARTICLE BEFORE COMMENTING

That's because Touch ID requires living tissue, and you're mostly dead inside.

You should be able to sync any album in your library to your phone with iTunes. It sounds like you would need to turn on the "manually manage music and videos" option (when you plug in your phone and click on the device icon in iTunes).

But can they then force you to turn Touch ID back on?

2017
I can't even believe I have to write this