I love "Yah Mo Be There"!

I wanna be in full compliance!

I'm riding my office chair like a bronco while singing "We'll Meet Again," but it doesn't seem to be making my co-workers feel any better.

Thanks to that Metallica article, I read this as "Harlem Globetrotter takes a shit from a damn helicopter."

I wish I could contact my 90s self and tell him, you know this crazy shit that you think portends the End Times? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Probably — and didn't he also develop a pain medication dependency at the time? I can understand why he felt compelled to finish out the Dark Tower series — he probably wasn't too confident of his longevity — but I do wish he'd go back over those books now and do a thorough revision. Even for Dark Tower, they're way…

I hope he didn't get a Lyft to…drop his kids off at the pool.

Nothing else matters right now.

Yeah, but now they're golden!

He was a Micturator of Poppets

Don't pee me like that!

The $5.98 E Pee

Wee the peeple

I think my favorite thing here is a conversation that has been going on between two friends in the comments of a long-forgotten AVC article, apparently for many years. I don't know if it's still going on, and I've forgotten what article it is, but I was very moved when I saw it. I hope they're still talking!

It's Pats all the way down!

Poor guy. So sorry for your loss.

Christ, what an asshole!

Still gainfully employed…so I got that going for me!

Old man Kinja'll pay fifty cents on the upvote for every comment you got!

I have to periodically retreat to the office restroom because people keep walking up behind me and startling me this morning. So they're both nervous dumps and also nervousness relief dumps.