Take the L and move on guys. This was sad to begin with but now it’s really embarrassing.

Man, remember when people were investigating allegations that he threw ice at someone? And we were scrutinizing every word on his calendar from *1982*? And the New Yorker published allegations based on someone trying to recall someone else’s account, even though the other person had no recollection of the event? …

A minor procedural error like illegally entering the country.

Maybe next time bring something stronger than last-minute uncorroborated, unprovable claims from fucking high school?

If it’s any consolation, you can be sure the A’s will continue to build teams of underpaid players and force them to play in their sewage-filled stadium.

How drunk was everyone else in the car that they let him drive?

It sucks for Thomas, but it’s basically a zero-sum game; the money he won’t get will go to other players who probably haven’t made as much as he has.

It’s also kind of why teams are reluctant to sign guys to contracts with a lot of guaranteed money.

Pizza companies will soon set up a universal healthcare system because their customers can’t get the blood pressure and cholesterol medication they need to survive and keep ordering pizza.

I think Portugal might get added to the ban list.

BELIEVE WOMEN 

To preserve their cherished history, they believe it’s important to make these games difficult for Americans to watch.

Where’s that guy who will explain to us how this was not at all a huge fuckup by the keeper?

Or maybe you can pay for it, like by actually paying a price? Pledging to continue on with your hautiness does nothing to help.

So are you resigning or is this just a purely empty gesture?

It’s a universe away from anything Hill or Ford alleged, though.

Christian Pulisic scored the tying goal in the 84th minute with Dortmund down to ten men, and this is how Deadspin covers the game?

This post will be a valuable reference when he suddenly reappears on the field decades from now without having aged a day.

He also presumably confirmed it with Lillard’s representatives.

If she wanted an investigation, why not contact the FBI before? Why send a letter to your Congresswoman?