Sorry, Spades is just a punk ass version of Bid Whist, a game for real players. Pinochle is the joint, too.

As a white man, Spades just sounds like a more complicated and more intense version of Euchre, which all white children are required by law to learn if they live in the Dutch or Scandinavian parts of the Midwest.

The lighter fluid is closer to the explosion than the children. That’s smart parenting.

Hello, Ball!!!

Nothing beats “You’ll Never Walk Alone.”

Too flashy for my taste. I prefer crisp two handed bounce passes where the passer is looking right at his target the whole time. Good, fundamental basketball as decent and honest as a firm handshake between two elderly Lutherans. Guess those days are gone for good, though.

Hot taek!

How much does he pay these guys to look like idiots on the court with him? How can ANY amount possibly be worth it?

Dear Barca and PSG,

It was more of a DDT than John Cena’s signature Attitude Adjustment.

I’m no doctor, but I’d advise you not to let yourself get hit in the head on a daily basis the next 15 years. That and lay of the cocaine, HGH, PCP,steroids, and horse tranquilizers.

“Cobb County homeowners will not see their taxes go up one penny”

Sadly, animal heaven is just a zoo in human heaven.

New favorite gif.

Howard Ends, Ranked

You know, I’ve bought some meals in my life that I didn’t particularly enjoy. I’ve experienced lazy and/or rude service in places of business. I’ve had contractors have cost overruns while doing work for me.

You’re really gonna do this all season? Really?

You forgot to mention the best part of the entire spectacle: The WAG cam. Man, that is amazing. Get a three wide battle for the lead and then ABC cuts to the pit wall where the driver’s wife or girlfriend is looking on in terror hoping he doesn’t crash. Seeing that is SO much better than anything that happens on…

Sorry if I have to be “that guy” but what I just watched is disgusting and never would have happened in the old days. It’s just not right and has no place in baseball.