For the love of all that is right and pure, WHYYY? I know winters are long, Canada, but why?

I guess asking Mariah to sing nowadays is equivalent to asking Rhonda Rousey to fight nowadays

Shit, I’m charitably assuming that Mariah used to have a voice that wasn’t fake . If its so far gone that she can’t be bothered to sing her own damn song, just don’t take live gigs.

I didn’t know about white genocide before reading this, and now I wish I still didn’t. After reading the insane drivel promoted by these whit supremacists , I am actually stupider than I was before! Was I better off not knowing about this?

Say it again

I love that boy for his shocked look on his face. Can I get a gif of just that?

You win 5 cabinets for that!

This is not disappointing because it’s unexpected, it’s disappointing because how hard would it really be to do everything above board?

If Bill Murray offers you champagne, you drink it. it’s going to be some pretty good stuff, not the $2.99 a bottle stuff that Andre makes.

II still like my personal favorite theory that Donald Trump is a genius and perhaps the greatest actor of our time. He has been a Hillary planned all along, and he has thrown the ultimate spanner into the works of the Republican Party. Purposefully. And now he’s doing everything he can, acting as crazy as he can, to…

The First Amendment only protects against Government action. Private schools can tell these little fucks to fuck right the fuck off. All day, Every day.

It wasn't even Le Close.

I’d like to go back in time to 2006 Tebow with all the information about his ‘career’ that we have in 2016, and tell him to draft as a tight end. He’d probably still be in the league and performing at a high level.

Sadly, I also do not qualify for a Ferrari Spider. My lifetime earnings may never be able to pay for it.

You like evenly cooked bacon? I have one word for you: grill press! It’s this 20 lb hunk of iron that you lay on top of your bacons , and it holds those little fucking fat ripples accountable and demands that it crispify. It’s literally an iron for meat, and it’s the best

So he did everything ‘wrong’, but the police DIDN’T execute him? Hmmmm...maybe if more encounters were leavened with police restraint, like this one, citizens wouldn't fear lethal consequences to what should be a routine interaction. Good on these police.

I, for one, am tired of debating people’s Bourne Identity.

My wife’s name is Sabine.

I don’t need a murderer. I just lay there and try to will myself to die. Specifically, I try to stop my heart with my mind. It hasn't killed me yet, but I fall asleep in no time.

I can see how this would be confusing due to the existence of Kansas City, Kansas, but outside of Wyandotte County, literally no one who says ‘Kansas City’ without specifying is referring to Kansas City, Kansas. They are either speaking of Kansas City, Missouri, proper or the Greater Kansas City Metropolitan Area,…