That’s why we need a wall. Right now immigr-ants from anywhere can hop on a leaf boat and invade our borders. Is that the kind of ant we want in this country? Is she doing her colony any good? I'm great with the ants! They love me!

I get that it’s funny to have 2 people simultaneously giving and taking a pizza order, but those two were surprisingly focused and professional and rolled with the weirdness. He thought she was haggling with him or confused or something, so he accommodated it by taking $0.16 off the order instead of fighting with her.…

If at first you don't succeed....take your ball and go home. You guys suck! It's not fair! I didn't want to play anyway. Who cares about you and your stupid trophies?

Shortcut by David Macaulay is sublime. Don’t tell the kids let them figure it out. It takes YEARS. And then they do, and it blows their mind.

To fully answer the ‘how long to freeze the number?’ question, you really need more data. What is the initial temperature of the number, and what is the temperature of the freezer? You really to know the specific heat of the cake and its dimensions to get any idea of the thermal conductivity, which is really the…

I officially know more about curling now than I ever wanted to or thought I would.

My plan for my major league career was to be an American League pitcher and designed hitter, which Baumgarner could absolutely do. This was before my baseball career peaked in 8th grade.