Guys, child slavery is really bad and I could’ve done more to fight against it, but I decided to focus on staying quiet because football.

Long legs bring other problems. Like finding pants that fit. I hate pants.

Honestly, I think I’m only still watching the NFL for the same reason I’m still on Facebook: social pressure. Like 80 percent of my friend group cares about these games, our fantasy league has been a great way for my ever-sprawling college-era clan to keep in touch, it’s a good thing to chat with my dad about when I…

The same reason that people lie to the IT guy that is just trying to fix their damn problem. They are too embarrassed by their own behavior to actually come clean and give the info needed to assist with a diagnosis.

Pratt always *is* 1.2 seconds from bursting out laughing.

Pratt always looks 1.2 seconds from busting out laughing.

To be fair, that’s probably the only way Rodney Harrison recognizes him as black.

At what point will this pass far enough behind us that I can say I think his hair is stupid?

My wife was a vegetarian, until pregnancy met Five Guys.

Sadly, not the first bridge/water to suffer structural damage in Minnesota.

No, I remember Rome taunting them with “Chris Goth” followed by tables flipping and many fiery arrows.

My parent’s bedroom door locked. And even if it was not, we were *never* allowed in their room without knocking. If they were in the bedroom with the door closed, we were absolutely barred from entering from the age we were able to understand. You don’t have to let your kids run all over you.

I’m glad that Lochte and Feigen(apparently) are back on US soil. None of us know what really happened obviously but regardless, nothing good comes of two US Olympic athletes being ushered through the cesspool of corruption (and literal cesspool) that is Rio and its criminal justice system.

This is kind of how I feel about it. Like, I think it’s pretty goddamn silly for people to be like “okay but seriously I’m a real witch” BUT his point of - okay, these are meant for religious usage and are not TOYS so please don’t come in here expecting me to sell you one because one time you watched Harry Potter -…

I am so excited about this movie, with only the slightest touch of apprehensive that I’ll be punked and despite what the trailer shows this will somehow end up being about Kevin Costner triumphing over all and supporting some ladies as he does it, because Hollywood.

This misses the point. Nico Hines’ staggering ignorance is the least shocking part of this article. The original piece included identifying information about these athletes—some of whom are from repressive countries where violence against LGBTQ individuals is common and sanctioned. With one incredibly crappy…

To everyone saying things like “they belong together” and otherwise criticizing the unnamed woman for getting back with him:

Sometimes I am sad I am single. Then there are other times where I realize I can go on vacation and nobody will call in bomb scares about me out of jealousy, and I feel free as a bird and it's glorious.

That’s the kind of irrational pedantry that usually defines the system and makes this act of compassion so refreshing. The purpose of the non-contact order is so the parents/defendants can’t discuss their testimony before the trial. They cannot do so on camera in front of the issuing judge. She could have been an…

Is this what they mean when they say that on field chemistry is so important in the NFL?