Well kiss me on the mouth and call me Tom Brady’s son... I don’t have anything else. This whole thing seems really stupid.

In short, fuck the Jets.

I accidentally auto-drafted Hill. I hope he pulls his punches until the season is over. 

I was in coma for two weeks last winter and the nicest thing about it was that I never once thought of the Bills

Now, if they had just started fighting and he punched him in the head, he would have been inducted into the hockey hall of fame.

Um, he means the sleepy players missed the plane to DC. Why bring race into this?!

What do you think would happen if Thanos killed all the Avengers, the studio was shut down, and no more movies were made, and it turned out to be Donald Trump’s fault?

I heard Barry on NPR this morning talking about nipples. It’s a great day.

Pam messing up final jeopardy was akin to the Ram’s Superbowl.

At my store the pink salt cost the same as the white salt. So I say fuck it, let’s get some pink salt.

The Rams went no huddle for a few plays and it worked. They then stopped for some reason.

I think this blog represents the whiniest and mopiest sports fucks on the planet. Also welcome back! Hope you’re feeling better!

My biggest question after the game was: what the fuck was the Ram’s game plan? Your garbage plays aren’t doing anything and just don’t adjust? It’s a football game, you gotta change up SOMETHING.

I haven’t carried cash in years. I can’t remember the last time I “needed” it. Even the small produce stands in my rural home town accept cards now.

“Oh, sorry Jared. I was looking for... never mind.”

The amount of effort put into hating the Patriots is astounding. I’m talking real visceral anger and sadness when they win. If the rest of you really wanted to stick it to the Pats fans, you would just become uninterested.

You can press garlic with the skin still on and the meat will just ooze out. You then remove the skin from the inside and repeat.

The weird thing about the Edelman and Hogan catches is that you just kinda knew Edelman’s was a catch and Hogan’s was not. It’s almost a GUT feeling, which seems hard to put into a rule book. It gets even worse when you slow things down to scrutinize it. That, in my opinion, is harder to work around than blown calls…

How do you know so much about him?

Thank you for your service.