It depends how concerned he is about a peasant uprising.

Clearly he's Buster and he knows 19th century Agrarian business practices are widely applicable.

I see your true colors and that's why I love you...

I used to work for a very big consumer products company that had several celebrity tie-in sorts of things. One was an extremely famous woman, supporting one of our charity efforts. She was committed to make a series of several commercials that were going to be filmed in one day (they were very minimalist, in the…

I always picture Smaug and Scrooge McDuck as Facebook besties, constantly liking each others' posts of diving and swimming through their piles of gold, making comments like "LOL so jelly yer pile is SOOOO BIG!"

Please sign all correspondence with 'Love, -a lesbian-shitass full of murder.'

Damn Lindy, Mr. Anderson sounds like a badass. My dreams are made of smugly out-witting a group of 9th-graders. Seriously.

Is there a matching ruin-your-chance-at-a-normal-life-by-tying-your-parent-to-your-sexual-desires present for moms to give their little Prince? Some kind of schmaltzy embroidered slut-repeller?

Oh man, I did that too! I felt so weird about the whole thing and my dad and I were both really awkward and just kind of stood off to the side and ate the snacks.
It didn't help that until I was nine he was out to sea a lot with the navy so he was this vague dad-figure that I didn't really know. Seven year old me…

My mom gave me a promise ring when I was in middle school: she had re-sized my dead father's wedding band so I could wear it. Nice sentiment, I guess, but I don't know why I couldn't just have the thing, no strings attached.

I holy see what you did there.

Her hands are too "veiny"? What's the solution to that? Stop having veins?

As a cancer researcher, I've gotta say that this is actually pretty impressive. This seems to kill cancer with a certain degree of selectivity, meaning that there is relatively toxicity to normal cells, i.e. the reason why going on chemo makes you feel like shit. There was another study earlier this year using…

Censered

So does that mean oncologists will be hiring thurifers now?

She really is insanely luminous. Do I have to be sober to get this skin???

You know what, sure, I'll do a bit of research.

Thank you! Yeah, I'm pretty hippy crunchy weirdo in some ways but also am very nearly done with a masters in public health and married to an ecologist, so we're still VERY evidence-based in a lot of the choices we make.

Are you British? Yes, coriander or cilantro. Or Chinese parsley.

Yes please! I love talking about composting strategies and my rain barrel, and we're thinking about adding an apiary, but gorram it, vaccines do not cause SIDS and homemade formula is about the most dangerous thing I've ever heard of.