And as with all advice, one can either take, or leave.

The ONLY piece of wedding advice that I ever feel compelled to give people who are about to have one is that they must have sex that night. It's just bad mojo not to have sex on your wedding night. Bad, bad mojo.

I know I need to move on with my life and get other interests and shit, but I still feel so sad every time I see Kim Kardashian. For some reason, her last nose job made me feel awful every time I see her. YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL. Leave your face alone!!!! Le sigh. At least her nose(s) will be reincarnated on her…

Do you think that Li'l Kim is excited to see her old nose again on her daughter's face?

I work with a guy who actually was in prison, and who got a tattoo while he was there in the THUG LIFE position on his abdomen but it says TUF LIFE because the guy who did it thought one F was somehow more gangsta. Now my coworker is born-again, the father of five and a pillar of his community. Heehee.

Remember Scarlett Johanson's awful tattoo that apparently was supposed to be ironically awful but to me just looked like it was from a teenage stick and poke party? Oy.

Gary Oldman, why must you break my heart? I have loved you for so long, and I was (sort of) willing to overlook your weird Republican stuff, but this...well, I'm breaking up with you [from the completely imagined relationship we've had in my head since I saw "Sid and Nancy" when I was 15] and frankly, it's not me,…

True, she didn't lift a finger, so much as...other...appendages....

This, right here. A little costly upfront, but pays for itself in money you save on razors and how infrequently you have to use it.

If ALT were pope, I'd be as Catholic as a motherfucker.

You just made me snort cornbread out my nose.

Tree of Life is incredible, but very long, and I recommend watching it alone, as it is a polarizing movie and watching it with someone who hated it would suck.

My esteem for her was born a few years ago when Monsieur and I decided to see all of the films nominated for Best Picture Oscar in the (astonishingly brief) window between when they were announced and when the statuettes were handed out (to add to the level of difficulty here, we live in a VERY rural area where there…

Awww...let's revisit our old noses together! Love you, sissy!

This reminds me of what director Billy Wilder said about holocaust denial: if it didn't happen, where is my mother?

Were I a single lady, I would spend 95% of my time trying to figure out how to entice Jay Smooth into my woman-lair. I wuv him.

DNA test that conveniently assuages all your complicated fears? Yeah, I expected more from my girl Jane. Also, I thought Elisabeth Moss had the charisma of a radish.

My husband and I quote this to each other frequently.

Top of the Lake somehow fell short to me of how good it could/should have been. The ending in particular had me doing a lot of "REALLY???" which all the previous episodes had not.

Did you notice that The Fall, Top of the Lake and The Killing (Amer. version) all feature a red-headed lady police protagonist who is either from elsewhere or about to be from elsewhere? That seemed odd to me.