Fine, it's a weave. Now, can we talk about the ugly-ass shorts and shoes?

I noticed that she was called a "girl" in her mid twenties when in other articles 17 year old girls are called "women" for effect. Interessante.

Ashamed to know this but... there is a male model who did a shoot with Kourtney while she and Scott were supposedly "on a BREAK!", shortly before she got pregnant. He said they hooked up and filed a paternity suit (not sure why he waited 'til the kid was 5?). Kourtney has always maintained that this is bullshit. But…

My liberty is not the ability to infringe someone else's liberty.

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

How did they last so long?! My mother sends me Sam's Club-sized bags of Sour Patch Kids in the mail to England, and they usually last about as long as it takes me to feel really sick from eating a pound of corn syrup.

This naked picture of Bieber has totally cancelled out the joy I felt this morning when I realized I still had a container of sour gummy worms from Whole Foods that I was clever enough to have bought on Friday.

Pump Up The Volume. That's all I gotta say~

Take out Brody Jenner and replace with Eddie Cibrian and this is my never ending internal struggle.

Oh, my poor dooufus Lochte. I'd do him. And then buy him a swimming coloring book afterwards b/c I'm nice. *sips tea*

Oh my stars and garters I just nearly choked on my drink. You win.

I had my iPhone vaccinated and it doesn't do that now.

I hope you didn't forget about Aloe Blacc. Talk about a fucking talent:

Dancing box of cream wheat was "Night Dreams." That one also had the scene where the actress unzips an otherwise unresponsive guy's pants because she feels a bulge and thinks he's getting hard, only to have a fetus doll pop out. For anyone thinking about starting a porn club it's not a bad choice because it's weird as…

Yeah, I've actually seen it. Years ago, I was a member (heh) of a Porn Club — a bunch of people ordered pizza and beer and took turns picking porno flicks. It was more like MST3K than, you know, like an orgy or something, but. We wanted a safe space to evaluate all kinds of porn so we could decide what was "good" porn…

In the picture, he looks like Evil Mark Ruffalo.

"I'm going to have to ask you to stop talking to my wife. If you want to do something else about it, call the cops. Thank you, goodbye."

Husband WIN. Also, both parents taking their kid to a dance class with a 16-day-old baby. I sincerely hope to have that kind of marriage and that kind of active family life. Even if…

What frustrates me most is that every one of these articles finds a way to hold individual women personally responsible for the absurd cultural dynamics in which we try to function. And it's becoming clear that no matter what you do, someone will tell you that you were wrong - and probably make you believe it.

This has been on my mind lately and I guess this is a good post to bring it up. Is it now basically normal to take 'hilarious' photos of strangers and make fun of them on the Internet? I see it a lot on Facebook: photos of people passed out, muffin tops, ill-fitting clothes, cray cray hairstyles, the works.

And this, THIS, is the prime example for when to use the southern snarky version of "Bless his heart" as in "Bless his heart, did he not LOOK in a mirror before he walked out in public?!"