One of my grandmothers told me not to go to her funeral, that life was more important than death. She added, "Dead people don't know who shows up and who doesn't. You're here now. I hate hospital jello."

No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.

Not that you should believe Star at all, but they claim the incident happened a month before his 16th birthday, so if he is 19 and the kid is almost 3 and a freight train leaves St. Louis at 5:30pm, IDK MY BRAIN HURTS

The most disconcerting thought in all of this is not 50+ year old women bearing children, it's the thought of trying to put in a tampon with shaky old lady hands...

I'm 42, and I still don't get the big deal about having a messy room. The entire rest of the house is available for tidying so the kid can learn how to keep a room tidy, should they desire to have a tidy room. If you don't like the mess in the bedroom, just close the door. Or don't look. Few house plans have the…

Y'know, I've only seen Dancer in the Dark (which admittedly I only saw because of a Björk obsession), which I remember as being amazing and also never, ever wanting to see it again because of the emotional trauma.

Oh gawd, I feel like you couldn't kill that even if you threw it into Mount Doom.

This. I'm relatively an old so I've seen more than my share of them up close and personal and in all colors, sizes, etc. I can honestly say that any time a woman was willing to let me get that close to hers, it was the most beautiful one I'd ever seen.

Let me chip in with "The Self-congratulatory Homeschool Parent". It's akin to a cross between the Fundie Parent and the "You Let Your Kid Eat THAT?" Parent. As if your associates' degree in psychology can Voltron up with your basement, Glenn Beck and Answers from Genesis to prep your precious little snowflake for…

Thank you. I mean, I don't know what stars are but now that I know they're something you can accumulate I entirely agree I should have more.

it was totally betty white.

It never fails. Right, it just has to be a gay guy because we're all just a bunch of mincing stereotypes who'll buy anything if it has enough camp value. For a feminist website you sure do traffic in a lot of stereotypes and...

How dare you? Zoe Saldana is a saint!

Throw in Bruce Willis, Sam Jackson, Johnny Depp, and Morgan Freeman as "God/The Referee" and we've got lightning in a bottle.

Not diabetic personally, but the answer is yes. Hypoglycemia can cause this behavior. Can't answer your second question, but in my experience, if it's a fun thing to do then the flight attendant will probably not let you do it. They're the buzzkills of the sky (when they're not busy saving your life in the event of…

Holla. She has seven dudes drooling at her feet and she's all "DON GIVVA FUCK"

Snow White: Baller.

The one that makes me want to stab myself in the eye is fibromyalgia. I've seen maybe one patient who possibly had it, but it was more likely that she had untreated depression.

I am old enough to remember seeing nightly combat coverage from Vietnam on the news when I was a kid. It really did not sink in what I was watching until I was much older and after I talked to my father about his time there. I know it is not in the same ballpark as what you describe, but it was violence uncensored…