Or better, birth control pills.

I was all, like, these fashion pins are so boring! And then, I remembered that my all-time favorite fashion pin is this, which is not much more exciting. Maybe Pingoggles?

They're not just smiling, they're showing a lot of leg, and doing Kardashian shoulders. Ew.

And may I just add, because it is something I find reasons to say remarkably often: "A grammar rodeo and *I* was not invited?"

"It is inappropriate for this organization to involve my family and I when they know nothing of our personal circumstances."

Fire your stylist, girl. Alternatively, if you dress yourself, hire a stylist. Enough with the unflattering bandaid colors, and that bow is a war crime.

How pretty is that necklace?!

Hell yes.

It's unfortunate that the US doesn't have a system like the one in Germany where apprenticing in a trade is a valid and valued path to a career. Plus, it would be awesome to see people in those bell bottom outfits walking down the road.

Gwyneth?? Is that you???

I hate seeing people embarrass themselves so much that years ago I became unable to watch figure skating, for fear someone would fall. I mean, I was never a huge fan, so it's not like I gave up something I dearly loved, but even now, thousands of miles away from the prospect of anyone falling on the ice while wearing…

My mother's mother thought this to such a marked degree that she named my mom after herself. And used to say things like, "You're me." Guess what happened? The southern belle gave birth to a mini-me who became a Marxist-feminist auto mechanic and never shaved her armpits again! Let this be a dark warning to thee,…

"Mind you don't cut yerself, Mordechai."

"...on account-a there's somethin' wrong with my semen."

I didn't think she'd do a Kim Kardashian, but you never know.

maybe her teeth are new and improved

1. Did Kristen Bell do a weird "and after I had the baby I got my body back in only six weeks and remarkably an entirely new nose as well" something to her face? She looks different. I hope not, as I really like her.

How 'bout this? You like this?

Benedict Cumberbatch and Jennifer Lawrence are going to meet and fall in love one of these days. You mark my words.

No, nobody said that.