I could give a rip about her nursing habits. I'm just concerned that she named her kid Camden. Next up: Detroit and Peoria!

May I recommend for some vegan lady porn the movie Persuasion, with Ciaran Hinds. YOU'RE WELCOME.

One day, you will find this letter when you google your own name (or the name on this Jezebel account), and the shame, embarrassment and sorrow you will experience will be intense. Until then...well, I have no advice for you, because you clearly know everything.

I picture that Labia Jar lady, Jillian Michaels and Paula Abdul might have all pointed at the same nose in the nose catalogue at the surgeon's office.

But oh, so thin.

That's why the elegant lady of today prefers Miralax.

The other reason I hate arguments like Pattie Mallette's is that is suggests that world would cease to turn without very exceptional persons having been born. I read someone quoted as saying that if you were born after Roe v. Wade, you should thank your mother for not having had an abortion. Because god forbid…

I know it makes a better headline, but "plain" and "ugly" aren't synonyms.

this Cheeto is dellllliicccciooous

I'm sure someone else mentions this below, but you aren't supposed to congratulate a woman on her engagement, as it suggests that you are congratulating her for finally snaring a man. Or at least, that's what my stepmother always told me, and as a result, I prefer, "That's wonderful news!" just in case it turns out…

Don't worry: February and April will chase them back out again.

We also have cheese, skiing and let the gays get married, or at least unionized, before that shit was mainstream.

preach

preach

You win.

Relaxed, wine-guzzling magnets.

GEEEEENIUS!!!!

It was the wedding-dress-y-ness of it that put me off. White is not a color that need be worn.

I cannot seem to use up the laughs contained herein.

I learned, as a wee lassy in the Women's Studies dep't at Temple, that partly why early feminists opposed abortions was that they were very, very dangerous for the women receiving them. Weird untested patent medicines, dangerously unhygienic surgical interventions: disaster jamboree.