If Cher (whom I love dearly, let me be clear) gives me eerie valley with all the shit she's had done to her face, I wonder how she scans to people in an orphanage in Kathmandu? I mean that as a 100% sincere query, not a covert body snark. Or face snark. Or whatever. Do we still get in trouble for those? But you…

SWEET BABY JEZUZ YES YES YES YES

As the image of Cher climbing Mt Everest made me so happy I almost shat myself, I did a little Google Research ™ and discovered that it is the future Mr Cher who apparently performed this feat (sans Cher), while presumably Cher herself stayed home and had weird shit injected into her face. Disappointing but seemingly…

The reason you did not know that Debi Mazar used to do Madonna's makeup is that you are young. I, however, am old, and remember when every magazine story about DM had to mention that she had been Madonna's makeup bitch. When you are old like me, one day, you, too, will remember a lot of useless shit about people you…

Well, the mom-blamers have a point. If it weren't for mothers, there wouldn't be anyone here to have/make all these problems.

That Evian better have been solid gold.

Y'know, I never thought about it before, but in the ED where I work, we do see a lot of MRSA, much of it in the region known medically as "down there" (it's a Latin term, look it up) and often, when it is a lady who is thusly afflicted, she is, in fact, shaven.

Um...I feel mean saying this, but I think he is wicked ugly. Body yes, but face...fug.

The "glory hole-shaped elephant in the room" is an image that I will carry with me (happily) throughout the rest of the day.

On an unrelated note, holy cow sunscreen everyday forever after seeing that picture.

Yeehaw

You can't get there from here.

Your rant is awesome. Thank you for it.

At the risk of sounding like I am...something-snarking...I feel strongly that Ms. Snooki is not going to age well.

Wasn't it a jet ski that killed Kirsty MacColl?

Wow, way to turn "I was a fourteen year old girl once and I can only imagine what it would be like to be a fourteen year old girl with THOSE parents and THAT life" into "I am Humbert Humbert, and I am about to rub one out while looking at a picture of this fourteen year old girl."

Because no one here was ever a 14 year old girl? And none of us could possibly dream of what it would be like to be THAT 14 year old girl?

Lindy, when I pass you and disapproving fiberglass lion on the street, panhandling because you are both homeless, I will give you some extra spare change AND my leftover turkey club from lunch just for writing this awesome column. Sorry about your luck, but at least you have your DFL to keep you safe.

In no way to make light of your mom's plight, but "My Extremely Inappropriate Oncologist" is a novel I might pay to read.

I think the word "creepy" does not mean what you think it means.