Or spark the Guinness World Record biggest bong. We just lease some capacity on the Rockies Express Pipeline so the smoke exits in Colorado and is legal. Irony + Engineering = Kinja.

Hue Jackson was quoted as saying, “Weed love to have him. He hasn’t gained an ounce Since his suspension and has been jumping to get back in this joint. He is going to smoke, or maybe even vaporize defenders with his blazing speed and I can’t wait to welcome him off the cannibus when he arrives.”

one of the lessons they taught us in public policy grad school (there is TOO such a thing shut up) was to always be the person in control of the final draft of any document.

I don’t want to be a Browns fan anymore. Someone please stage a fucking intervention for me.

Still probably a top-three all-time Okafor.

I can’t quite process how someone with so much potential could flame out so quickly. But trust that I’ll figure it out eventually. May take like a decade or more.

Rex Ryan is Rear Adm. Andrew Foote.

Oooh! Are we playing NFL coaches as Civil War generals?

“THEY’S MISCEGENATED! THEY AIN’T EVEN OLD-TIMEY!”

I’m as big a Patriots hater as the next guy but associating them with the Confederacy is just wrong.

He uses Capital Letters like he’s a Character in a Fucking Winnie the Pooh Book

Wow, Dusty Baker concerned about an ace pitcher not having enough rest? Scott Boras asking to be taken at face value? There is nobody to believe here.

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

Of course it was a U.K. pub in EPCOT; Jesus, US soccer can’t even do hooliganism authentically.

The “Epcot Centre” Twitter account is pretty amusing:

Fivethirtyeight published a chart recently that has him as the fifth most-played artist on radio, responsible for roughly one out of every 40 songs. That he has that honor without being divisive among music fans, and also somehow never had a #1 album on Billboard until 2014 says so much about how we accepted his…

Hitting the upright should be worth one point on a FG attempt. It won’t affect the game much and it will make Blair Walsh feel a little better. Everyone wins.

Pretty sure they allow people from outside the city limits into the stadium as well.

Did you know that Fox doesn’t show anthems because they sell ads for the time right before kickoff?