Sammy Sosa simply refuses to pick a race

I’d say drunk, stupid, and being in Ohio, is no way to go through life, but all of those descriptors seem redundant.

Seriously, he can get a pretty stellar match out of anyone also up to the task, he’s really nice to kids, and he can even play at comedy... but fuck this guy.
Kinda. Not really. I mean, just, fuck him.

This is the reason why I don’t play in international friendlies.

Calls for someone with a different opinion than you to be silenced...

Like some sort of ban?

Needless flexing of authority, wild overreaction to immigrant, old and miserable.

Let this document show that my client is a bitch baby football man.

Ah yes. He’s mad that trucks are parked in front of his property. The logical action is to render them immobile.

I’m an idiot and cannot figure how to post a video.

which one?

I still think our American asshole is more embarrassing.

“He’s already got a nose for finishing around the hoop.”

I worked on your comment for a year and then you just commented it.

Put your faith in reputable news outlets like, uh, Deadspin.

I was this close to exposing that guy until you published this article.

Being a police officer is a dankless job but somebody’s gotta do it.

Condition has been downgraded to Gnarly

“Is Emma Stone not available?”

Shit, man, I’m listening to a baseball game right now. But I absolutely love Summer League basketball.