"Insistent and unwanted as an erection during a middle school math test."

ALL THE POINTS FOR THIS.

It was the same for me, except I got sick, he had already sent me a tirade, and when he found out I was sick, demanded that I let him come over to make me chicken noodle soup and take care of me, and show me what a "nice guy" he really was.

I am 99.9999999999999% sure that I have interacted with this particular prick. I know lots of dudes are like this, but there is a serious level of familiarity in the tone.

No, just an abundance of women who would NOT go to the gym wearing a bumpit. Southern/midwestern thing. But CANADA? I expect better from Canadians.

I only need my potato chips to taste like potatoes. Or sour cream and onion. I can add my own ketchup when needed!

I'm going to take a leap of faith here and say you don't live in New England or the West Coast.

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE BUMPIT?

Thank you for making this point first.

I thought at first that the top image was an actual ad for Covergirl and I was about to freak the freak out (cause it's football, and people get beat up during football... IT MADE SENSE IN MY BRAIN AT THE TIME).

Ah, this makes me miss having Pap in Boston.

I love ketchup more than should be legally allowed. I have been known to dip potato chips in ketchup.

*slow clap*

The same, just less awesome sounding.

If a person was coming at me making that face, I'd do the same thing.

That is incredibly beautiful and now I have all the cries.

Unrelated: hearing British people say "Chichester" is one of life's little joys.

I am an East Coast girl (with KC family, no trip there is complete without Jack Stacks) so I have no idea what a "hot dish" IS and I'm afraid to click on it.

YOU BITE YOUR TONGUE KANSAS CITY BARBECUE IS THE ONLY REAL BARBECUE.

Yes. To all of this. Thank you.