And a lot of those people were on Bridezillas. Many of the women wanted the ring and the party.

you mean these?

Or planaria.

Agreed. Just pick up your candy, put it in your backpack and go on.

That’s what they said about appendices, and then they exploded in us.

If it had been in the shape of an automatic rifle no one would have uttered a word.

Or a little bishop in a turtleneck.

That's what they said about the pancreas and where are those people now?

It’s so rooted in primitive marriage customs. It’s a goddamn dowry, let’s just be honest about it. It’s a de Beers sponsored dowry. The social media sharing is just the modern day ceremony of acknowledging the transfer of ownership from one man to another. “Ooohh how much was SHE worth??” Say the villagers.

You’re missing the part where there are just people in this world, even if you don’t like it or don’t know them that will say, “I want a wedding. I want a ring. I want to be his wife. Or I will go find someone that wants to marry me and have a wedding and call me his wife.” I have had at least 3 friends do this. You…

Uh. I can assure you that being someone’s fiancé doesn’t grant you the ability to make medical decisions for the person. Fuck, I couldn’t even get Comcast to talk to me when my husband and I were engaged. You have no legal rights as a “fiancé"

I think Katie also managed to get out before Suri was too involved in the religion, whereas Nicole and Tom’s kids had already been indoctrinated and were told that their mother is evil and that staying in contact with her would pollute their thetans.

I love that this year, a number of the scariest stories centered on non-ghost incidents. The modeling gig... the poisoned uncle... a woman buried alive... a madman in the basement... Sometimes the spookiest stories are the ones about other humans.

Was anyone else waiting for the part where they do some CSI shit to determine whether it was ever actually used? “Yes, analysis detected trace amounts of whoseywhatsit, which is likely a last remnant of long since decomposed blah blah blah.

All I know about Nantucket is Wings, and that’s all I need to know.

Seriously. I can’t be bothered to fold ONE hand towel before throwing it on the towel rack.

the WORST ones are the ones with any kind of embroidery. my parents’ upstairs bathroom has a “beach” theme, and my mom got these tiny hand towels with seashells embroidered on them. but you can’t dry your hands with them!! it’s just scratchy embroidered thread!!

Sometimes I’m really glad I don’t have a penis, because I know the urge to pee on everything would be overwhelming.

“He died the night I was born...IN THE SAME HOSPITAL.”