I loved all of this. I find these endlessly fascinating even though I have yet to purchase one thing anyone has recommended in the facial care ones. (And I do need to.)

I love Chipotle - the burrito bowl plus the lime corn chips = heaven. But I don’t get two things:

Put me down for love. I love love love the sofritas and the guac and the corn salsa. I actually eat there more since I gave up meat, because there aren’t a lot of fast-casual places that offer tofu options.

I love chipotle, Taco Bell AND genuine authentic Mexican food. They all fill separate niches and all are enjoyable. 

Since I’m typing this on my phone in bed I don’t have the stamina to go point by point. I’ll take the first one: your assertion that no chefs season the eggs before it hits the pan is completely wrong. No less than Kenji Lopez-Alt suggests this method — in fact, salting it and letting it sit in the scrambled eggs at…

he decided to start writing a memoir on an old typewriter

I kept trying to figure out what I’d done to deserve this.

No dessert, no pasta, no pizza. I’m seriously considering whether I’d rather just die.

I’m not actually pasta. but I eat enough of it that I may very be part pasta.

I could so easily do all of that except for the bailing on pizza and pasta part :(

I have so many questions, on why this woman is up on the counter.

I will stan a cute block heel shoe until the day I die tho.

You don’t even want to know the regimen involved when goths go on beach holiday.

I understand you have an acne problem, but I can’t help but feel like all this STUFF that gets put on your face is bad for you. Like, oh my god. I just keep thinking of all the chemicals.

LOOK AT HIM RUN!!!!

What’s the matter, snowflake? Can’t take responsibility for your actions?

It is irritating to see dick jokes in the comments section of Jez. I don’t even know why it irritates me so much, but it really does. Like this isn’t Reddit, bro. Just thinking out loud - which I figured would be fair since I had to read your dick joke.

It took me a minute and then I was like “right! they did this on purpose!!” Because that last Vanity Fair cover with Oprah and Reese Witherspoon was pretty close to this. Once I got through the uncanny valley I loved it, especially McKinnon’s leg.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

Can we get to the real question? Why does ranch at a restaurant not taste anything like bottled ranch and vice-versa. I love ranch at any restaurant, and they all taste about the same. Yet I have not found anything that i would deem palatable from a grocery store