This is tangential to my frequently argued point that a Michael Jordan with no legs or arms, bound to a wheel chair, would certainly not be an all time great player.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

Just keep tweeting the same, straightforward NFL “news” that the account has always tweeted so that when 2,234 people retweet a short highlight video of an obscure, but talented safety who resigned with the Browns I can finally know what it feels like to be loved.

Yeah, but what would you do if you hacked Trumps account?

“Consensual sex? That could lead to dancing!”

Baylor’s army is only good at fratricide.

It’s always been there. Those two x’s, like dead eyes staring down at you in the parking lot of the strip mall where you’re eating a whole chicken from Boston Market by yourself.

The major new milestone on ESPN was brought to you by Pennzoil. Pennzoil, for your engine’s next milestone. This one is brought to us by common sense and whatever kitchen thing the Kinja Deals team trots out, which I will buy.

Well, an actual report might identify instances of wrongdoing, for one.

No. They’re Protestant.

I feel as if this post is speaking directly to me. I work for a PEO, or Professional Employer Organization, which in and of itself, is corporate speak. Basically, your company hires us to handle your payroll, benefits and HR services so you can focus solely on making $$. I was hired as a Client-Prospect Coordinator…

Hey now, they could have been threatening the victims instead.

A football staff member does not meet with the family of the victim for any other reason than to cover it up. End of story.

Bartolo Colon, who turns 43 years old today,

The Adams Family ended

“This league is fixed!” shouts may never stop coming from Oklahoma City.

Well, this being Texas, I’m sure the sane and logical voting base of Arlington will see through this charade, and smarter heads will prevail.

Today the @Creed Greatest Hits album was played during the team lift.
Today was a good day.

BREAKING: Kirk Cousins’ Bluetooth speaker, with baseball bats

Interestingly, this actually does offend 9 out of 10 Native Americans.