Happy Birthday, Helen?

If the universe wants Republicans to get the point, the universe should arrange a mass shooting at a country club.

Ted Cruz is Mayor Quimby dumb, because he’s entirely corrupt.

Agreed. She got to hand out the Deweys, but she never got to win one.

Whether naughty or nice, coal is a shit gift for a man who has literal tons of it. The message would be a clear FU.

I, too, get hot and enjoy free feet. That is why I tuck the foot end of my sheet, not into the bed, but around a fan. It turns my bed into a wind tunnel. It feels amazing. Until you fart. It will arrive at your nose at an angry speed.

I thought you had to say “with all due respect”.

Since it is almost always applied to a Republican, I vote for “racist elephant call”.

It will really skillet in awards season if the fandom doesn’t wok away.

Don’t be silly. You can’t be related to a cartoon. He’s related to the guy the cartoon was based on. Maynard G Krebs.

Too bad he didn’t go with Nintendo Bloke. He wouldn’t have had to change his monogram.

President Oprah would almost definitely land us some form of Surgeon General Phil. Fuck that.

If we’re looking critically at the man’s career, pretty much every 90's movie Frasier made was a goofy (but often charming) comedy movie.

Of the hundreds of teachers I knew in the multiple schools I attended over 13 years of education, I can’t think of more than 3 that could have carried a gun and not used it on a student.

Linda being Bob’s cousin would explain a lot.

In a session Lawson attended, a Trump supporter acknowledged that the G.O.P. has had a spotty record on racial matters, but it’s important to him that Blues know that’s not why he holds his opinions.

In a session Lawson attended, a Trump supporter acknowledged that the G.O.P. has had a spotty record on racial matters, but it’s important to him that Blues know that’s not why he holds his opinions.

Fart softly, and carry some spare undies.