That’s kinda right. The reason the FAA couldn’t figure out where the engine came from is because he sent it back from the future. The serial numbers matched the serial numbers on an engine that was still intact in the present. He ripped it off the plane his mom was in when she was coming back from Sparkle Motion being…

That is not what happened in Donnie Darko. It wasn’t a dream. It was an alternate timeline. He had to send that jet engine back in time and kill himself to prevent everything that you saw from happening.

I would want a Bloodwulf movie if it kept Bay away from Lobo.

I agree. Bay is a poor fit for Lobo. Bloodwulf would be more his speed.

Tim Stack had trashy daytime talk shows down.

It isn’t so much that I’m a big Spinal Tap fan. It’s that so, so many dials in movies go to eleven. It’s about as common as the Wilhelm scream or the Konami code.

I hear there’s a videotape proving his hot sauce set the world record on the scoville scale.

I don’t usually look at specifics either. Unless I see a dial. Then I check to see if it goes to eleven. That is, in all honesty, the only thing I ever look closely at.

I can’t help but notice that Cable’s gun goes up to eleven.

In the meantime, the best you can do for your pug...

I’ve never had an issue like this with any of my mutts. I wouldn’t want to own a dog that doesn’t make people say “what the hell is that?”.

It’s a little late to not breed a dog that was already born.

I will happily give him every penny I have if he launches a rocket into the ground at 500mph to test the Hollow Earth Theory.

It’s nice to know that the polar opposite of an anti-vaxxer is also a complete fucking idiot. It makes me feel more confident about my place on the bell curve.

Our failures must be a vast conspiracy involving people at the highest levels of power throughout the entire government. The only other explanation is that we’re all fucking idiots. But let me ask you this: Why would all those people conspire against idiots? They wouldn’t! That proves we’re smart and the conspiracy is…

Ceci n’est pas une poop

Damnit, Dotard. Your family only gave you two rules. Don’t fuck anyone younger than Ivanka and don’t pay anyone more for sex than you are paying Melania. How hard is that?

I hear Nunes can clear three matchbooks, but Junior has a clear edge on shooting the rabbit.

You’d live a much happier life if you just accepted the simple fact that you are a complete imbecile. It must be exhausting trying to convince yourself that you’re worth a damn.

Recent study suggests stupid people are less intelligent.