Just wait until someone does a 127 Hours porn parody.

If you think little Goku has it bad, wait until he names his next kid Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.

IHOP and Waffle House are like Coke and Pepsi. Perkins is off in the corner fighting with Denny’s over which one gets to be RC and which one has to be Tab.

What about his “American accent”?

Even if that explanation is accepted, you have a teacher that is misspelling first grade spelling words. That is not a good sign.

That’s just pretend. In reality Steve Austin only beats women.

... this time for directing an insensitive insult at a player...

I’m envious that you managed to forget about Donald Trump long enough to write a headline.

Long arm of the lard.

I guess Cleveland is Cleveland no matter where it is.

What?! Even after a blancmange faced Podgorny at Wimbledon?

Weird. Ivanka says it’s more like fucking a blancmange.

I read that exchange as “We don’t care what you’ve done, only how many people paid to see you do it”. They weren’t talking about quality with Schumer, only the size of her audiences.

I hope quantifying it involved looking at how many people have watched her previous special since they got it. It seems to be the only objective way to do it.

The potential damage if parked too far forward is blatantly obvious. Zero warning should be required. And the previous cars damaged in the structure should have served as ample warning. If I close my dick in my zipper it isn’t because the people who made my jeans didn’t warn me. It’s because I fucked up.

They’re crooked bastards, but they didn’t cost the department $19,000. Those people would have gotten a few tickets and stopped being assholes. They wouldn’t have just kept parking like that no matter how much it cost them. That’s one of those “every download is a lost sale” arguments.

My hometown had an Applejacks. At least they did until Applebees found out. Now they have a Taco Bill’s.

Years back, I was living in an apartment with godawful neighbors. Constantly blocking other cars in the lot, leaving their trash by the dumpster because they couldn’t be assed to actually put it in the dumpster, propping the outside door open so the vermin drawn by their garbage could come in the building... Just…

In all fairness, all the colors in a rainbow taste the same. You can “taste the rainbow” by drinking a glass of water.

Besides, seeing the fake names Dickie has for the popular wrestlers he’s so clearly emulated here is never not funny. Jimi Sierra for John Cena? Stunner Stu for Billy Gunn? Hanz Cuffs for the Big Boss Man? Genius.