My mom’s lap dog used to ram its tongue deep, deep into my ear. It lacked the patience of a cat. It would also try to go up my nose if I wasn’t on my guard. I swear I could feel that thing licking my brain.

We haven’t peaked until we get a competitive Family Circus game where Billy, Dolly, and Jeffy run around leaving dotted lines in their wake and try to destroy each other like the light cycles in Tron.

If a turd bucket is President, does that make it the Shite House?

In an effort to prove it, Taiwanese viewers have crashed his streams and tried to argue against CJayride’s claims that he is just sharing Taiwanese culture with the world.

Your hypothetical child will set fire to you in your sleep for the hypothetical inheritance.

When your head is up your ass, every investigation is internal.

But yesterday, a local ABC station in Austin reported that ICE told them that the agency “is not aware of receiving any calls related to this matter since media first reported it on May 29,” calling Rinaldi’s bluster into question.

I believe that anyone who tries to equate having their opinions disagreed with to being a victim of prejudice is garbage. The fact that Coldpasta and I arrived at the same opinion of you while coming at it from two different angles only lends credibility to the theory.

I just let them yank my hand. That way it isn’t my fault when I lose my balance and headbutt them.

How about a beerdet?

Here comes the Funcooker!

Prejudice is judging someone before you have any experience with them. When it’s based on your self-stated opinions, it’s just judgment. Fair judgment, even.

I’ve got to deduct a point for not saying “loosers”.

Would you want him to? I can’t imagine him opening his mouth and not making things worse.

The often ridiculous screen names don’t help.

Ivanka is the lust of his life. He is the love of his life.

From their point of view, what’s the point of doing the right thing if you’re going to be punished for it by the very people you tried to help?