Well, I guess we know which teacher wins the award for “Most Likely to Be Unemployed”.

I thought the definition of escalation involved riding a moving staircase.

I’m not sure it would be any smarter to get an alias tattooed on your neck.

Deadpan humor is always appreciated. I hate it when comedians corpse.

He’s more of a Rich Hall.

What kind of a half-rate buffet doesn’t offer you any sofas?!

I’ve never understood the bragging about how many times they’ve held the title. Length of title reign, I can see. But not number. Winning the belt 13 times means you’ve lost it twelve.

“They were mocking, according to this gentlemen, I guess in the UK there’s some websites that naked women get on sharks, so they were trying to mock what women were doing with sharks.”

I did that to my gym teacher freshman year. I’ve yet to have a better day.

I like Cobalt Chevrolet. Or Neon Chrysler. Or any other model that sounds like an adjective.

That’s true. I hang on my every word. I’m always pleasantly surprised at how inventive my vulgarities are.

No Willrow Hood?

The milk expiration video market is far from untapped. It was rather quickly cornered by the newcomers.

If there were justice in this world, Trump’s father would have been imprisoned before he had a chance to procreate.

the joke reinforces the perception that oral sex between two heterosexual men is inherently about power; since no “normal”  heterosexual man would ever want a dick in his mouth, the relationship must be coerced.