That happened to me once. My sophomore year of high school I was in a ballet performance of Cinderella, and was supposed to be playing a party guest, but was understudying an ugly stepsister. Three days before the show, the ugly stepsister got into a car accident that broke her back. She's fine now, but obviously…

Ok, though, I have the MOST AMAZING SHADE related to this story.

WHAT!?! THAT MEANS HE'S ALSO THE WEIRD SKINNY CAMP COUNSELOR IN HEAVYWEIGHTS!!!!!

Shall we guess? My first thought was Paddington.

I always think of Mallory Archer and Lana:

I can't even re-home my fucking dog.

Knitting's not bad (though you have to watch out for escaping yarn balls). Everything's attached so it's harder to lose things. I love cross-stitching and sewing (though ever since I got a machine I'm totally over doing things by hand) but I can't imagine trying to get them to work on a bus or train.

I was babysitting when a kid bit my hand and as I jerked it away I slapped him in the face.

True story: A few years ago Ravelry was holding a "KnitOlympics" and the US Olympic committee sent a cease and desist letter, and the knitters took up arms and were like "Fuck no, we're holding the goddamn knitolympics" And the USOC backed the fuck down.

This. If I'm close enough to the beginning to restart I tear it all out and try again. If I'm way far in, I'm just like "Welp. Errors let you know it's handmade."

I feel you. I'm an avid knitter (and cross-stitcher and sew-er and general crafter) and my friend got on my ass once about being "such a feminist but still being so domestic."

Unfortunately, no. I'm willing to show it to friends, but I don't want the photo to end up on reddit, in which case my mom will see it on some weird viral website, and I'll get a "How dare you!" phone call. :(

Fact:

YAAASSSS

I don't have any "I was so lazy and..." stories, but my brother and I were both gifted and both had excellent grades all through school (college and law school included).

So the grocery store my dad took us to had this cookie club, where you paid like 5 bucks a month and could get a cookie every time you were in the store, or something. so, when he took us grocery shopping, he would be like "Stay in the cart, don't touch anything, don't scream or cry, and you both get cookies." We were…

I loved that picture that went around, a mom changed the wifi password and left a list of chores that had to be completed before the new password was revealed.

I have a student like this- I've finally articulated it as "He would definitely fuck you while you were passed out and then be like 'Whaaaat? I had no idea. You wanted it!"

I think watching/playing is hugely different than just watching.

I had an abortion about six months ago, and my state allows you to opt out of hearing the heartbeat or seeing the ultrasound.