Are you sure your girlfriends weren’t thinking the Exact Same Thing? Maybe next time “Hmm, ya know? This morning I was thinking of this new club just down the street from here. We could dance, AND there’s karaoke.” There will be silent shared glances - reticent at first. Then slightly bolder side-eye evaluations,…

So sorry - Off topic. Last night my mother told me she has Glaucoma. I said “you should get a med. Marijuana Card because my over -the-top- anxiety is crippling.” First she was confused. Then REALLY pissed. Btw: Never tried pot but am desperate. Hey, at least your relatives won’t now view you as a ‘criminal type.’

News anchor: he can deliver B.S more believably than any car salesman.

I’ve been pregnant 3 times (no “belly” or kids tho:-| ), I’m pretty sure 2 toes will need to be amputated, my eyes will probably fall right out of my head soon, and after age 65 no one will put my eyes or my teeth back in. Id be better off going t a world-renowned psychic.

Second this. Their sh*t is SO outdated.

I hope you managed to escape Illinois. I have a friend who would love to know how you did it.

Love this. Don’t even have to watch, because I will NEVER forget it:)

Every time I see that photo I can’t look away from the dude in the orange tie - seemingly giving the ‘thumbs up.’ And what the hell is going on behind those shifty eyes?

Mislead child goes to her doom VOLUNTARILY.

Couldn’t agree more, especially The Martian. I couldn’t finish it. However, Garner personally irritates me. She’s just a little too close to an all-American version of Gwyneth Paltrow.

I don’t think you are being the least irrational. Okay, I admit I’m crazy, but I’ve tried to avoid both of their films since they started out. And the two of them together? Creeeeepy.

Yeah. Despite all of his talk about “no possessions” he let his handlers and fans treat him like a king. The way he treated his first wife and son is deplorable, not to mention he was anti semitic, often abusive toward women (he wrote a sadistic song called “Run for your Life”), and became violent when drunk..…

I don’t know if “five billion” of us are dreaming together, but Yoko is sitting on 5 million bucks. I think that would buy me a lot of peace.

Do you have one of these on hand? Pretty effective (unless you’re really AFRAID of actually killing it - me). Or have you gone entirely “paperless?”

Hugh Jackman and his humblebrag food binge tweets: Ah, all is well with the world again.

And so the karmic avalanche begins. Will there be more than 55 accusers? Makes me sick that he has crossed the line with even one woman, but if there are 100, let them come forth.

You’re going to have to demand cash in advance, ‘cause you just know this crud-on-a-shoe won’t pay after.

Yes, I WILL have the “Cap” with a ‘caption’, please :)

god no. Anyway, the extreme acidity of Trump’s body would immediately destroy any facade one might slap onto it. (Mmmmm, slapping...)

Ladies (and gent) keep ya sick fantasies to yaselves. K ?