Today’s been full ... Seeing my Dad, fighting with him over dialysis (it got nasty this time, he’s refusing to go again). Just had BBQ with my landlords and am sitting in a great coffeehouse/bar listening to the latest from The Killers as I write this. I finally almost feel like I’m comfortable in my own skin again…

My dogs ...

The cappuccino & yogurt was from a lovely little place called Blacksmith that’s right around the corner from my apartment.

Dinner this evening since my friend cancelled on me this afternoon ... Veggie Indian thali (She’s sick). I’ll write more when I get home ...

Breakfast ...

On being stubborn in asking for help, I’m the same way ... Today was full & I had a lot of last minute projects thrown my way. All done, all handled.

I’m going to talk to HR about taking time off today/tomorrow. Many people have said they want to help … I’m going to take them up on it.

I’ve finally managed to sit down. I had something last minute that delayed my leaving. I’m just now sitting down for a cappuccino.

Therapist or not ... Part of me is still thinking tonight.

For the moment I’m here. I’m at work ... quickly knocking out a drink promotion for February (the woman in charge of one of the restaurant concepts I work on is going on Maternity leave soon).

I’m at work ... seeing my therapist at 5 pm ... may leave earlier than I’d planned.

All i do to relax is read, listen to music or watch things on Netflix or Hulu ...

May be so, but i still have trust issues ... part of me still wants to do this tonight. I talk to crisis lines all of the time, the police have come by my place for welfare checks. My landlords check on me and I even get calls from crisis lines checking on me.

I still feel awful and want to do this. I still think…

Actually yes, for a long time I had some resentment, but I had come to really realize it was very misguided. I had found i was working for some pretty amazing people.

In-House Graphic Designer for a Restaurant Company ... been here 16 years.

I’m not sure I can. I’m going to try. I appreciate the encouragement, but my misery is overwhelming.

I’m at work trying to at least be somewhere ... I still might decide to do this after I get off work. All I need is a garden hose.

Things will be easier when I’m gone ... that’s all i think.