Polar Bear: [finally takes first steps]

Things That Are Democratic, Ranked by Tony Kornheiser

No idea if this is even possible, but it would be interesting to see this broken down by the type of penalty. Are teams that hold all the time (presumably because they're getting beat) worse than teams that rack up false starts, PIs, and personal fouls?

Penalties aren't that closely related to success. Oakland Raiders of yore often had the most penalties and finished well. Sporting Kansas City last year led the MLS in fouls and won the cup. I didn't look any of this up so it could be wrong.

Seems to be the same idea as offsides in soccer. If you are never offsides you probably are not playing aggressively enough.

What an idiot! First you win the Heisman then you pop some ex.

"Random folks putting ecstasy in beer cups then handing them out to a person at a party, then the person drinks it, then the person ends up in your apartment having sex with you, then your friend walks in, then you two laugh, then nine months later your semen shows up in a rape kit, then you have a press conference…

When looking back on his decisions, I wonder if Spence considers the ecstasy worth the agony?

He should be a contractor for the government. He's great at over billing his employer.

I don't think the comparison is very apt. Jesus was a carpenter, but watching Johnson, he seems more skilled at masonry.

"You know what wasn't cheap? His dental invoice!" - Rick Reilly

Yea, and my Aunt could be my Uncle if she had a penis.

"...It's kicking in Johnny"

Thinking about Lauren from FSU. Guaranteed.

My favorite Rice fat guy TD celebration is the one where they recruit a mild mannered, middle aged man to play center for the team

Apropos of nothing, with only a few degrees of separation this game reminds us all that Craig James killed 5 hookers.

There was an 82 percent likelihood that the coach called him a gay slur, according to ESPN's College Football Bigotry Index.

RAPPERS WEARING HOCKEY JERSEYS, RANKED