Which of y'all would make the best President of the United States?

Do I know you?

Hey guys, just so you know: This wasn't written by someone from The Onion, and I'm not reading it on theonion.com, therefore it is stupid and bad satire. Thanks.

lmao

OK, man, we get it. You really wanna fuck Marshawn Lynch.

Its a no win for the NFL because Lynch decided he is too good to do job he agreed to.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, and I apologize on behalf of everyone else who has replied to you.

Since you're the guy who doesn't watch football at all (which, seriously, is admirable), I guess I don't know what case you could possibly be making.

Over time, I'm sure the numbers will show that three games among the top four teams is somehow worse than one.

You keep using the word "cheat."

About three years ago I was invited to drink some scotch at a friend's house. "Scotch is good," I thought. "This is going to be fun, and good. But I'd better eat first." So I ate a ton of chicken tikka masala.

"Who fucking cares?"

What in the FUCK is gospel doing above jazz. It's immediately above jazz, so it's not like it was unintentional. Gospel music is dreadful and jazz is awesome.

By far the worst ranking of anything that's ever been posted to this site. Easily. It's not close.

MillerCoors can't afford to bribe judges. Most of their income gets turned into pennies, which are then dissolved into batches of Coors Light.

Here's what's going on, I think: Before the FG, the Bills could expect 2.39 points (which make sense; it was a long field goal). After the FG, they no longer had the ball, so the expected point value of their new field position (i.e., not even having the ball) was 0. The fact that the play actually netted three points…

Why is the EPA of Dan Carpenter's field goal negative?

Ugh, another health-food hipster.

This seems like as good a place as any to say that this is happening for some reason http://sidespin.kinja.com/jeter-in-buttl…

I don't know why I feel compelled to reply to this comment but: The notion that Derek Jeter is not a "slam-dunk" for the Hall of Fame is one of the craziest things I've ever read.