Oh great, they take religion with them. That's just what we need.

I'd eat Dereck Jeter's asshole. Just saying.

My cousin was murdered and put in the trunk of a car. Or possibly put in the trunk of a car and then murdered. It was in Spain so you can image how excellent the police investigation was. But regardless he was suffocated and shot in the head. Or shot in the head and then suffocated. I would assume the former since if…

Diet Coke? If you're going to all that effort at least make it taste like real Coke.

He doesn't have nearly enough forehead. It's distressing me.

You really shouldn't lick reptiles; they're covered in Salmonella.

It's actually done using a combination of the two. Positive results of a PSA test as frequently false positives and therefore have to be followed up by a DRE.

The trend is part of a state health standard that requires all prospective teachers to undergo various examinations (men over 40 must undergo a prostate exam), but these tests required of women are intrusive and violate any semblance of privacy.

That was like watching a really bad, totally unfunny stand-up routine at an open-mic night.

I thought she was a marine biologist?

Viall? I usually spell it "vile" but close enough I guess.

I think they look more like shoes crazy people wear.

Only 61 Americans got their dick made bigger last year? I don't trust these stats...

"...it makes him "uncomfortable" that he's not in Israel for the conflict."

"Seeing your first penis, even in a wholly informative context, is jarring!"

"I've been single for six months."

And this is why you don't put six expensive fuselages on the same train. Duh.

The day aliens arrive I give it about 5 minutes before someone tries to fuck one. -regardless of what the hell they look like.

No, I think eating shit is still higher on the list of things not to do.

So the hospital actively lies to her and she's a freak for putting her foot down and saying "No."? While I may not agree with her worldview, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my 12 year old child (assuming I had one which I don't) alone with an adult who holds a position of power over them for no specific reason. If…