Chip Kelly is really excited about taking the coaching position as the job has long been seen as a stepping stone to coaching in the Big Ten.

Who’s disgusting football chin is this?

Tomsula’s 5-11 record probably played the bigger role in his firing. Also, the carpet he installed in the owner’s suite wasn’t as stain-resistant as he promised.

Chip gets the one job that Hue Jackson looked at and thought, “Nah, better go with Cleveland”

Tomsula lifehack: Showing up at your replacement’s hiring press conference is a great chance to spread the resume around, let people know you’re on the market, and to stock up on cold-cuts.

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I screwed this up. Sorry to clutter your comment.

This is going to be such a glorious shitshow.

I’m so glad this team that I have unnecessarily invested so many emotions into for nearly twenty years fired the best coach it had employed in over a decade for having too big an ego before hiring a coach with an even bigger ego, who sucks.

The David Bowie Pandora station is probably my favorite of all time (closely followed by Sam Cooke).

With $14 million, “shopping at Aldi” no longer means rummaging through the dumpsters at midnight. He can walk in the FRONT DOOR, in DAYLIGHT. And if he really really wants to, he can unlock 56 million shopping carts to wheel around with him!

Yeah, they wouldn’t have to worry about these pesky playoff games.

True true. It's not the fanciest ride, but the Amtrak got me to swear off driving to downtown Chicago forever.

Can we talk about how heinous those grey, sleeved Bulls uniforms are? Holy fucking god. Whoever designed those needs to be beaten with a sack of dead frogs.

Just glad Manning will have a chance to go for that elusive tenth “one and done in the playoffs”.

Shit, Deadspin may be able to get Tomsula himself to be a regular contributor.

I can think of one thing that easily makes the DSHOF:

“Wins=rings=elite.”

What we still have remaining were passed on to the next generation of kids in the family, continuing the enjoyment well into the future. Even the Millenium Falcon with only two working landing gear, the X-Wing missing all the guns and canopy, and the land speeder with the middle engine broken off are still played with…

I grew up in one of the poor neighborhoods where everybody had hardwood floors and dreamed of someday owning wall-to-wall carpeting.

Denton can go fuck himself