We eat Macaroni and Cheese with Tuna because we are awesome. Screw that hot dog shit.

Shit on a shingle.

It was a joke.

When I was 45, I figured it was time to try some of that meth I’m always hearing about....

whats your story, killer?

You shouldn’t hit your teachers. Bad move.

I think I knew you in HS. Didn’t you end up going to some shitty state school? What was it, Cal U? God, they took anyone with a pulse.

The salami was funny, blaming it on Kevin was not. Ass.

The stories people have told me about things I did black out drunk were impressive.

Your grandmother is fucking awesome.

Now, for a serious story, when I was in fifth grade, we were sent over to the middle school for band practice. One day, we had a substitute teacher (this is relevant).

how many closets did you have?!

Maybe your parents would still be together if they’d just used the toys.

In west Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin out maxin relaxin all cool, and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She…

You are my new hero, Mr. BrianD

Rebels gonna rebel.

*Looks at you*

What. the. fuck.

wow.

Yeah, it was stupid. Not to mention all the teams would just get new owners.