When a reporter asked Sandy Koufax why he retired so early, he told him, "because I want to be able to lift my arm high enough to shave."

Oh and by the way, as if all the above weren't enough: Bumgarner was also the best hitting pitcher in baseball this season (.258, 4 HR, 15 RBI, .755 OPS). http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/11…

I once had someone tell me that if we stop singing God Bless America at ballgames it means we've forgotten 9/11. And he was dead serious.

But seriously. What the fuck was that. I hate that song already and that rendition didn't help.

Didn't think this was that bad...and then the ending happened. She totally botched it

I dunno if he deleted it or not but Manti Te'o's "Real eyes realize real lies" tweet that made rounds after the Lennay Kekua story broke was priceless. I still laugh at that.

This man is a genuine fucking stud.

Dan Jenkins once described a situation where a DB who bet the Over kept falling down and a WR who bet the Under kept then dropping the pass.

Maple Mountain was the first team in the state to hire a female head coach and the results have thus far been fantastic. May the sweet victories continue to stack up for Coach Buttersworth.

this is some good-ass kinja

The staff was debating who's more of a dick to media: Pop or Belichick. I think Belichick, only because at this point, it's an unspoken joke with Pop.

I'd give it a shot.

I'd be way more scared of Michelle

"Me too."

Better than the Sixers hype video

Donald Sterling wistfully watched that commercial and yearned for the days when TV was black and white.

As a man, I'm baffled by catcalling. Does ever work? Seriously, has accosting a stranger that's just walking ever gotten anyone laid?

There is also, truly, no justification for Facebook posts this long. Ever. Everrrrrrr.

Yes, because throwing people in jail has solved all of our other problems too!

Are you out of your fucking mind?