As someone who sometimes puts his dick in other guys’ butts, I disagree.

“I always thought of myself as a brave lady, but the town - if you can call it that - of Colfax managed to pull out that last little bit of scared little girl out of me, tugging at my otherwise rock-solid composure like idle hands around a loose sweater thread.

In my naiveté, I thought I would stroll around Colfax…

Please let there be lawsuits.

But his horse died in the Swamp of Sadness.

fwiw “curl up like a shrimp” is 100 times funnier

This made my whole body curl up like a shrimp from contact embarrassment.

Fuck off with this Caucasian mush trash

I posted a couple of weeks ago about the tattoo I was getting...now I want to show it off! This is just Phase 1, I have a few more sittings until it’s done, but I’m obsessed.

Har har big black dick is hilarious, always glad to be reminded my huge, black, scary genitals are a punch line. Gotta love that white comedy for white people

Lena Dunham, the perfect candidate to make gay marriage about herself.

Am I supposed to feel empathy for this raging talentless bigot because, I hate to admit, kind of finding that difficult after the past two weeks

Oh my GOD did I find this out the hard way. Like any other idiot who gets a house with a jacuzzi jet tub, we thought it was so awesome. Until I went to flick on the lights and accidentally flicked on the jets (tub was empty) and nasty water from Satan’s butthole came spewing out from the…

I’m with you. She seems like fun to tease.

Indeed.

I know if that cake showed up in my circle of friends we would never stop pointing and laughing. Even better if someone was offended.

THIS ^^ A wardrobe note like that is not the best, but not that weird at all. The obnoxious part was telling her to try to understand the context of the sides by reading the whole script as though any actor ever would fail to understand that reading the script provides context for your read sides. That bit also made…

“The great thing about the Hamptons is that you really can live in the Hamptons and not live in the Hamptons in the Hamptons way.”

Ruby’s doppelganger is clearly Nicholas Hoult, not the Biebs.

That just made me crack up for 5 minutes. Hilarious!