I unabashedly loved it. BUT I ALSO LIKE THE ORIGINAL SONG BECAUSE MAYBE THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.

Oh my god, that was fabulous.

Ah yes, the goofy compulsive lies of attention-hungry teenagers are the best. When I was in junior high, I had a friend who insisted she had a psychic connection to Axl Rose. She insisted she was spiritually with him at all times, aware of everything he did. Whenever she brought this up, I’d demand to know the last…

This is what happens when people let the internet raise their children. (Did yours lisp? My queen of the dragons lisped. Technically, she was queen of the dragonth.)

Years ago, I worked with an incredibly strange girl. She was deathly afraid of cash registers and alternated between bouts of intense shyness and open aggression. She’d been home schooled and seemed to have received no socialization whatsoever in her life before getting her first job.

Yes! Absolutely darling.

I’ve seen her use classic emotionally abusive tactics against her daughter on Twitter. It’s chilling and more than a little stomach-turning to see her at work.

That was such hardcore shade, Tay-Sway just had to put on an extra vintage sweater.

It’s the perfect gif. The king of gifs. One gif to rule them all.

I haaaaaaate myself for caring so much about the outcome of Doug and Jamie’s relationship on Married at First Sight. STAY IN LOVE FOREVER OR I SHALL CRY AN OCEAN OF TEARS THAT DROWNS US ALL.

This comment isn’t creepy at all.

I would like children so much more if they looked like that.

You too could have cheekbones like mine if you’re willing to harvest body parts from hitchhikers.

I am 35. The Murdercorn is ageless. This program is an idiot.

The picture in this article is allowing me to soothe myself with the belief that John Mayer is actually just CGI and that there is one less mountainous pile of smegma in the world.

Just as long as this can stay.

I squeed when I saw this image! I've used it in company promotional material, because it's so adorable.

Let's convince her it's possible to be president of the moon. Because you know she'll believe it. And she's just greedy enough to want to rule a planet. (Kidding, kidding. She's just greedy enough to pretend to want to rule a planet for all those sweet political donations from dummies who also believe it's possible to…

This is the kind of thing that makes me thank The Powers That Be for making me physically incapable of wearing underwear.