The whole season just needs to be retitled American Horror Story: Mommy Issues.

You don't even know her!

I WISH it sounded like a clap. A clap I could deal with. But no, it is a flabbering fart of a sound and no amount of random inexplicable outbursts of clapping can disguise it.

I really wish an etiquette expert would weigh in here.

I never know what to do when I'm wearing a dress and my thighs produce a farting sound when I sit down. Like, is it better to just let them think you farted, or to say, "Oh, that's just the sound of my thigh fat flabbering together"?

redacted

I hope you choke to death on puns. The jokes we tell will be GREAT.

Nothing is better than "Do you even PubMed?" Nothing.

Everyone on here is wrong. "Do you even PubMed?" is CLEARLY funnier than "Do you even bow hunt?"

IT IS THE BEST THING EVER. THE BEST.

Miley, watch out! The giant space cat is going to eat you!

She is otherwise perfect in her role, though.

Is anyone else totally bored by the Axeman? This show felt so tightly plotted until last week's introduction of the Axeman.

I have spent a ridiculous and shameful amount of time playing Jojo's Fashion Show.

Why would ANYONE commit suicide with rat poison?

LOVE this song:

You are always marvelous and I adore you.

Is the jewel bra washable, or does each year's jewel bra model add a layer to the jewel bra boob cooties?

Yeah, well, your pussy still smells, John, so maybe take it easy with all the smug patting your own back you're doing.

It deserved to be in all caps. Your keyboard is prescient.