Ha! That is so damning, isn't it?

It's been quite some time since I saw the movie, and I only saw it once, so I must admit all I remember of it now was my reaction and my husband's reaction, which was, "Damn, I really wish we could have that 120 minutes back." I loved the book, however, and have read it multiple times.

Is the perfume to cover up how much the film adaptation stinks?

You betcha, that is uncanny as h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

They remade my belly with skin from my butt.

Yes, this is the second time in a week I've made this joke BUT I DON'T CARE.

I misunderstood the assignment.

In honor of little Dourtney, a video of my own Italian greyhound wearing shoes. Partly because yay Italian greyhounds, and mainly because I just feel like it:

WHO GETS DOURTNEY?!?!?!?

That totally makes me want to be a ghost.

Ha! That's adorable. I like your passion.

I know for sure that Jezebel needs to do one of those crowdsourced "find this fashiony thing for us" pieces on the red gloves that Myrtle Snow wore in the last episode, and that when I get home, I'm taking a screenshot of them and emailing them to whatever address I have to in order to make this happen.

It hadn't even occurred to me that Queenie could communicate pleasant sensations to others the way she can pain. I didn't realize she was trying to get the Minotaur off when she started masturbating—I thought she was just trying to entice him. If she was pulling a voodoo doll molestation thing on him, though, ugh.

I've got a major case of the Fridays, and the only thing I really feel like doing is chatting about American Horror Story online until it's time for me to go home.

Each season is entirely different, with a different setting and different characters (though a lot of the cast members remain the same). Season 1 is great. Seeason 2 is wretched. Season 3 is shaping up to be the best of the lot.

They are both great at the same time. I know, I know, this might be an overwhelming concept for you. Just breathe deeply until the feeling passes.

I know. I want to see her play someone with a heart as black as pitch, and a penchant for killing people on a whim.

PLEASE, OH POWERS THAT BE, PLEASE MAKE THIS COME TO PASS. I would even be willing to perform an occult ritual to make this happen. (Although, let's face it, I'd be willing to perform an occult ritual for just about any reason. Toast not warm enough? Occult ritual. Can't find my car keys? Occult ritual. Need to…

Same here. I would totally delight in standing thisclose to soapy people in all my putrid, ghostly glory.

I thought that it was pretty obvious the OP was trying to pull a Maury Compson (but without the wit).